Stop Following the Rules

 

We should certainly stay within the rules, but rules are not meant to be followed as if they are leading us somewhere. Rules are not the same as guidance. One can know the rules to Chess, but following the rules is not what makes a person any good at it. One does not read the rule for moving a pawn and then decide they must move their pawn as their next action. Reading the rule and doing as it says will not make anyone great. The rules explain how things operate but they don't guide in how to use them or even why they are the rule. Rules like don't cheat, don't steal, and don't murder are not themselves the goal. They're just a starting point of explaining what things will get one into trouble.

This does not mean the rules are irrelevant or that staying within them does not matter. The distinction is that rules establish the boundaries of acceptable play; they do not explain the purpose of the game or teach us how to play it well. We still need to remain within those boundaries for good reason, but excellence comes from understanding the principles that make those boundaries necessary and learning how to act naturally within them.

Rules for life can be summed by the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," or similarly by "Love your neighbor." But once again, these are just the basics. Following the rules aren't what make a person any good at the game of life. A rock follows these rules. A person in a coma follows these rules. This is clearly not the gold standard of excellence. Not following the rules, of course, makes one a terrible player at life. All the written rules do is point out the bad players who don't follow them.

To be good at the game of life, one must first know the objective. Then, knowing the objective, stay within the rules and best optimize for that objective. So what's the objective? Survival? Fame? Fortune? Comfortability? Toys? Experiences? It's up to each of us to decide this, but I dare say determining the goal is itself a goal. What are the options? What are the outcomes?

I think the most obvious goal is generic "life fulfillment," which then asks even more questions. What is most fulfilling? How does one do this? And at the same time, how does one best stay within the rules while doing so since the rules are rather challenging to follow at times? To pick anything else is short-circuiting the question of life fulfillment as if we already know that our goals would accomplish it—unless one doesn't care to be fulfilled. Quick news flash, however, humans are notoriously wrong on knowing what will fulfill them. We've been flailing blindly assuming we'll be fulfilled by the things we want, but perhaps it's worth taking a step back for once (or twice, or thrice, or perpetually) and actually consider it.

We often move on auto-pilot and follow in the footsteps of those who came before us. A quick look at the life satisfaction of those before and around us, however, shows a great deal of room for improvement. People have been notoriously failing at following the rules to love one another and there are indeed consequences to that failure. Not just some heaven or hell afterlife, but real adverse effects here, now, and perpetually. It's why everyone is so miserable. The principles behind the rules provide more insight but this requires an intentional investigation into why the rules exist to begin with. The rule to love others isn't just for the sake of fairness to others—it's a fundamental aspect of reality itself.

When we stop to analyze, we find that the orientation of our minds, whether toward love, hate, peace, or fear, has a significant impact on our life satisfaction and success in our goals. We can scoff at the idea, but we're only hurting ourselves by doing so. The science is very clear about this. We impact the results and outcomes of studies, drugs, performance, health, and our own joy quite significantly based upon this alignment. The golden rule is there for our own benefit just as much as for everyone else's. Until we align with that fact, we will find our lives to be full of struggle and depression. Comprehending why the rules are there will encourage us to follow them and so benefit by them. Until we get to that point, there is no objective that will satisfy us. 

To learn more about this, I recommend studying the free book Your Mind is Made of Voices. It explains the rules, aids us in following them, and brings about actual life fulfillment. Until we stop to analyze and truly think about these things, our struggles will forever impede us.