When we consider our experience on Earth, there is one and only one thing that makes it enjoyable or miserable. That one thing is simple: our perception of it. This isn't intended to say that we can simply choose our perception as we select our morning clothes, but it is true none the less. Masochism is a real phenomenon where one's pain is converted into pleasure. What would normally be perceived as a bad event can instead be perceived as a good event. And who is to say otherwise? Our perceived experience is the only important aspect to ourselves. And that perception only impacts us via emotion. We can be fearful, angry, happy, or sad based solely upon our perception. We can be trapped in a simulation thinking it's horrific and real while being perfectly safe in the real world, but our perception of the horror is the only important aspect to our experience in the moment.
In such a way, we can consider how events in the world impact our perception, but we should take note that everyone's perception is unique. What one person considers terrible and emotionally triggers them to anger might be nothing to another person. Perhaps they even enjoy it. The events themselves, barring physical pain outside the threshold of masochism, is rarely itself the cause of our suffering: it is our own perception. And while we cannot simply choose our perception, we can indeed influence it. Orchestrating our perception so that we can remain in a pleasant experience through all external events is what one might call "spiritual maturity."
It might also be deemed "emotional maturity" where emotion and spirit are nearly identical concepts, but I like to stick with "spiritual" because this is where we find most of our knowledgebase on how to grow. Science and psychology support, but they are late to the game. Spiritual practices such as Zen Buddhism, Taoism, and the teachings of Jesus, and many more ages beyond have taught similar concepts of spiritual growth. In essence, they lead us toward emotions of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control (to quote Paul in Galatians 5:22-23). Growing in these ways is exactly the kind of maturity that keeps our experience pleasant. Paul also advises in Philippians 4:8 to think about such things as "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise." This is literally the key to altering our perception to alter our experience to maintain joy, peace, happiness, and the "fruits of the spirit".
So we have the what, we have the why, and we minimal have the how. Beyond that, there is a lot more how and why the how and why the what. Such things can aid us in the change in perspective, but the goal remains the same: align with such things as brings about the kind of perspective that keeps us steadfastly joyful under all external circumstances. How we accomplish that has everything to do with the nature of reality which leads to such advice to focus on the positive. The advice is good, but understanding the reason (or the why) behind the advice is even better because that understanding is literally what changes one's perspective to make the advice palatable.
When one's current perspective is that they will break their mother's back if they step on a crack, the advice to ignore stepping on cracks sounds like terrible advice. How can one possibly ignore the damage to their mother? But when one comprehends that the advice is sound, that our mother will not be harmed, and we'll walk with greater efficacy, then we can actually heed the advice we've heard. So when we're told to focus on the positive, not worry about our job loss, and pretend we're happy in the face of injustice, this all sounds ludicrous. Until, of course, we understand why. It has everything to do with the fundamental nature of reality. It has everything to do with quantum mechanics and how we take one path over another. There have been hints all along, but they continue to be buried among vanity and control. If we filter the various teachings for just such things that grow us in spirit, however, we shall find our way.
For more insight, I'd recommend reading the free book Your Mind is Made of Voices.
Good luck out there!
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