The Fountain of Youth 2025-06-28

I started a little concerned as most travels are concerning when you're not aware of the destination. But you don't just "arrive" at your destination. So it's not scary. You move toward it. You see it coming and to some degree you can turn around, but it's really best not to fight the current, honestly. But I could cater which current I was on, of course, using Enya. I didn't realize she had so many foreboding songs but each one seemed perfectly fit for my travels. I faced scenarios in my mind of a sort that kind of made me know things about me that I "knew" but never really put to words or believed. Like, I didn't know so strongly before now that I am not content with being content when there are other people suffering. Like, I "knew" this, but that is literally just a PART of who I am. That's kind of inspiring actually. I like that about me. And further, I'm not fine with just a lack of suffering for all of life. Like, how boring. I value creativity so much. All kinds. That is so ME. And I will never ever ever just pick a little hut of beliefs to avoid the rabble on the streets. Never. Can't do it. I will fight the rabble and die trying. No huts for me. That's admirable at least in my own eyes. I love that about me. All these things about me that I like so much. All the while I'm learning this, when I finally laid down to take the travels in, I felt like an arrow of love had pierced my heart. Not just metaphorically, but like, I literally felt my chest just pouring out and overflowing with love mostly because I didn't even know what to do with it. I had never tasted it. My body was so overwhelmed I just kept laughing in confusion. What is this feeling?? I reveled in it, I reveled in the revelations of what I love about myself, and one of those things that I love forced me to get up and think about all this and write it all down in the hopes it can help other people and not just enjoy it for myself and forget it.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the annoying revelation about me. I find it nearly impossible to just enjoy something. I have to know more. I have to analyze. I have to ponder the cosmic significance however remote the chance.