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Saturday, June 14, 2025

The Fountain of Youth 2025-06-14


Feeling quite sick today. Could be too much VR TV, the stress of travel, or perhaps something in line with my seeking of the Fountain. Could it be a purge? Could it be retribution from the not-so-virtuous streams not wanting me to discover the secrets? Or maybe I'm getting too deep in the virtuous stream without enough virtuous character and it makes me sick? Who knows, but worth noting. If and when I take other people through the process, we'll see if sickness is common. 

I think there's a link between the streams and music or vibrations. Enya seems to hold a connection in some way so I tried listening to her while I took a nap. I'm not sure I felt anything in particular but it was calming for a bit until it was perhaps annoying. When I got up, I felt perhaps calmer and quieter, but that is also when I started feeling more sick.

I tried listening to other music as well to tie into streams of joy or love. There might be something there. A few songs tugged at me in weird ways even though I didn't know the songs. ChatGPT recommended them. One in particular seemed to remind me of something blocked in my memory or something. Made me feel a strange longing. This reminded me of how Jason Upton provided an interesting sense back when I was a Christian. IHOP in general kind of did that. Again, something about music... So I threw on some Jason and it kind of hurt. I remember the feelings of love and joy and hope that I no longer have and ultimately how let down I was by it all. I almost feel like Jason is an enemy at this point but I forced myself to face it. 

Due to sickness, I didn't do a whole lot. Watched TV mostly. Been watching Extraordinary. It's a fairly TV-MA type of show and it makes me wonder what the virtuous stream would think of it. The Christian zealot in me immediately says "bad!" but the atheist in me says it's just comedy and doesn't really have any negative impacts. It makes me laugh. You know a tree by its fruit so will my fruit be affected? I kinda doubt it. Still, I don't want to act like I know what the stream wants. But I'm not ready to dive in full zealot when I'm more or less toying around with this idea. I can't say I believe it, but it's a possibility and one I find tantalizing. It's interesting and science essentially says I can only be better off for trying it. So here's to continued trying. I just hope I'm not putting a target on my back for any evil streams... :-p.

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