Fountain of Youth 2025-10-10

Today's questions or topics that I'd like to be answered:

1. Alignment is hard. I don't want to give up, but I struggle with next steps. Too many options, too much confusion.

I got the impression I should stop attempting my sessions while sitting at a computer. The ambient noises in the area were very droney and putting me in a bad sense. Plus, I'm treating the experience like some documentary rather than experiencing it. 

I put out there a password so to say so that if I am reaching the spirit world and so is another person, maybe they'd hear it? The voices in my head tried to make me all important about it like the world will be looking for me and venerating me. How vain. And childish. In the very next breath I'm crying out to know if I'm wise or learned yet I'm constantly fumbling around like a baby crying out for support. And yet, to me, it makes perfect sense.

I see so much out there that seems unrealistic. Clearly people will believe anything. And I spent decades of pondering and being rejected all these years. So clearly I'm ahead of my time. And then yet, perhaps I'm only just now catching up with all the things I thought were weird but were simply false judgements? But then I'm right back to square one. How can I ever know? Am I wise or a fool? Am I reaching beyond with a greater mission to save the world in a way few can grasp? Or am I one of thousands and need to focus more on myself?

I also got the self-important perspective that the world is literally a reflection of my own mental state. Could be. Seems just as conflicted. So how will I know what's truth? Halloween I will go to a psychic who is presumably far more capable than I. If that is true, then she will know my passphrase and speak to me clearly what's up and I can believe her. If not, well, I could be self-important because obviously this isn't working and everyone is playing along like it does. So I feel like a lot rests on that night. Truth with direction or a greater divide between self importance and insanity with me dangling in the middle?