The Fountain of Youth 2025-06-28

I started a little concerned as most travels are concerning when you're not aware of the destination. But you don't just "arrive" at your destination. So it's not scary. You move toward it. You see it coming and to some degree you can turn around, but it's really best not to fight the current, honestly. But I could cater which current I was on, of course, using Enya. I didn't realize she had so many foreboding songs but each one seemed perfectly fit for my travels. I faced scenarios in my mind of a sort that kind of made me know things about me that I "knew" but never really put to words or believed. Like, I didn't know so strongly before now that I am not content with being content when there are other people suffering. Like, I "knew" this, but that is literally just a PART of who I am. That's kind of inspiring actually. I like that about me. And further, I'm not fine with just a lack of suffering for all of life. Like, how boring. I value creativity so much. All kinds. That is so ME. And I will never ever ever just pick a little hut of beliefs to avoid the rabble on the streets. Never. Can't do it. I will fight the rabble and die trying. No huts for me. That's admirable at least in my own eyes. I love that about me. All these things about me that I like so much. All the while I'm learning this, when I finally laid down to take the travels in, I felt like an arrow of love had pierced my heart. Not just metaphorically, but like, I literally felt my chest just pouring out and overflowing with love mostly because I didn't even know what to do with it. I had never tasted it. My body was so overwhelmed I just kept laughing in confusion. What is this feeling?? I reveled in it, I reveled in the revelations of what I love about myself, and one of those things that I love forced me to get up and think about all this and write it all down in the hopes it can help other people and not just enjoy it for myself and forget it.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the annoying revelation about me. I find it nearly impossible to just enjoy something. I have to know more. I have to analyze. I have to ponder the cosmic significance however remote the chance. 

The Left Created and Voted for King Trump

To level set, the left has made significant leaps and bounds in the normalization of non-heterosexuality, bringing women into the spotlight where they were diminished, and raising awareness to the rampant struggles that have befallen (or always existed for) minority peoples within our country. These are all amazing things and I do not hope to diminish them in the slightest. But a question must be asked: At what cost? And that answer? The cost was Trump himself. They created him and "voted" for him with their unwavering actions despite the warnings. Allow me to explain.

The rise of Trump must be understood by acknowledging the role progressive ideology played in shaping the culture which ultimately led to him. While the left claims to champion inclusion and compassion, it generally does so at the perilous cost of excluding and vilifying another group in particular: straight white men—especially those who don’t fully align with progressive orthodoxy.

Now, some will immediately bristle at the notion: “No one’s vilifying white men! That’s a stupid right-wing talking point!” But that response misses and yet proves the point entirely. It’s not explicitly stated that white man is the villain (not most of the time, anyway), but just like the struggles of minorities, it’s in the cultural tone: the asymmetry of empathy and compassion, the way white men are allowed only to listen, nod, and apologize but never to speak with nuance or heaven forbid disagreement. It’s in the way any pushback, however respectful, is read and decried as fragility or bigotry.

This doesn’t happen to just bigots or trolls. It happens to those of us in the middle—open to dialogue, willing to question ourselves, but not willing to blindly conform. We asked honest questions, voiced discomfort with double standards, shared our own pain and struggles. And yet, we were not met with discussion, but contempt. Not empathy, but hatred. We weren’t debated—we were labeled. Canceled. Mocked.

Is anyone really surprised that this ideological rigidity didn’t foster unity? It pushed people away. It silenced them. And you can say it's worth it all you want, but when people feel silenced, they don’t look for leaders who will bridge the gap, and they certainly don't look inward—they look for someone who will bulldoze the gap and give them a voice. Trump didn’t appeal because of his policy ideas; he appealed because he stood in defiance of a culture that shut people out for failing to toe the line. He became the megaphone for the unheard. And every time you tried to silence him and claim all his followers were racist bigots? It just made them all the more angry and loud. Since when did name-calling make anyone see your point of view? Of course, those of us pointing this out then got labeled with the masses and were accused of tone policing. But there's a legitimate logic here and now you can see the repercussions.

Any pushback at the left wing agenda was met with insult and accusation (typically toward straight white men) while simultaneously proclaiming that they aren't being vilified or left out because "all lives" was "obvious." Some of the accusations were certainly true--some white men absolutely reacted poorly or out of racism or bigotry. But why? That question almost never gets asked in good faith. We act as if bigotry emerges in a vacuum. Well it doesn’t. It festers in neglect, resentment, humiliation, and trauma—just like any other wounded group.

If you ignore that, if you mock or silence it, if you deny people’s right to process their pain just because they happen to be born into a group with perceived privilege or the least amount of trauma from dividing lines that never should have been lines in the first place, then you are fueling radicalization. You are manufacturing Trump. And that is exactly what happened.

The left created Trump by refusing to listen to the pain of those who didn’t fit their victim narrative. They wrote off everyone who wasn't nodding along as fragile, complicit, or regressive. And people who felt unseen didn’t just disappear—they got more wounded and much much louder.

The alternative isn't to excuse hate--absolutely not--but to understand the root of it psychologically. It's trauma all around. Not big-T Trauma, but little-t trauma. Microaggressions, culture, expectations, parents, health, schools, bullies, etc. And trauma demands empathy to be healed both internally and externally. Without that, every maladjusted person becomes an infected wound that spreads through society like a plague. They must be healed, not infected. Even the white man suffers.

And it should never be about who suffers more. We don't need a pain measuring stick to see who deserves some compassion or empathy. There's enough pain in the world to go around and everyone needs it. The worst offenders are often the ones who need it the most. If we only extend empathy to the groups we deem oppressed "enough," we’re no longer practicing compassion—we’re practicing exclusion and segregation--the very things the left claims to despise. They can think it doesn't matter if they segregate the majority--the oppressors--but they are wrong. And they are then lying that they are not excluding or vilifying those from whom they are clearly withholding compassion, empathy, and understanding. You can't withhold these things while claiming you're not vilifying. And the cost of this exclusion and vilification is a continued and escalated culture war.

So if you want to stop creating demagogues, then stop creating desperate people who feel they have no voice. Because people who feel that way will always find one. And if the only voice that will speak for them is a monster bent on the destruction of our country, they will absolutely vote for that monster—just to feel heard.

The Fountain of Youth 2025-06-16

 

Today I considered that I not only need to work through trauma that occurred to me, but also whatever shitty things I actually have done. That one is possibly harder to work through. It's one thing to say it wasn't my fault as a kid, quite another when it literally was my fault. I mean, I can chock such things up to all manner of upbringing and trauma that caused it of me, but it doesn't change the fact that indeed I caused pain and suffering. 

I was listening to more of The Myth of Normal and it started going into how all these cultural things like racism and poverty and whatnot cause all kinds of issues and while I completely agree, I'm internally still just so torn up about how every other person on the planet seems to get special attention to their needs while I waste away. Brings me back to the whole "All Lives Matter" thing because they always seem to leave me out. Doesn't my life matter? And they say yes, of course, but my life isn't the one being beaten by the system and what have you. Yes it is. It is. We're all being beaten down by the system. And I'm so sick of being minimized in that way. Just because some people have it worse doesn't negate that I also have things that messed with me. When do I get love and empathy? Never it seems.

Bringing all this up reminds me of "white fragility." I'm not fragile because I'm white, I'm fragile because I had a shitty childhood. And mocking me certainly doesn't help. But, again, the society doesn't care. And this really does bother me. I've spent my whole life being misunderstood and scorned for who I am yet none of that empathy ever comes my way. The world still hates me because they lump me into a category with bigots and racists because of my race, gender, and sexual orientation. How freaking messed up is that?

Anyway, the world won't change around me so I guess it's stuff I have to work through myself. Like always. Working through it alone... I think listening to all that might have put me on edge. When it came to get my car rental and the app wouldn't work to let me check out, it really got to me. I didn't get in line because it would be faster to use the app but instead it made me take twice as long because some bone-headed programmers couldn't figure out how to make their shit right. But why does that upset me so much? I managed to calm down before getting to the counter, but I wonder if there's something deeper there or if I just got into a bad frame of mind. 

Anyway, the book really just made me think this is mostly garbage talking about streams and whatnot. With me trying, and having gotten sick, and with as easy as it is to fall victim to our surroundings and culture around us, it just doesn't make sense. No one can ever achieve it. We'd have to immerse ourselves in a culture of people all seeking the same thing. And where the heck am I going to find people like that? And then as a culture of people all trying to do this, you'd inevitably start judging other people. Like, hey, I'm trying to get in the virtue zone and you're over there playing heavy metal. That can't be helping. Let me help you get the speck out of your eye and all that. It just seems daunting and impossible for something I have absolutely no reason to believe exists. It's just a bunch of myths crammed together.

So anyway, I dunno, might be my last post on this idea for a while until something deep hits me again. 

The Fountain of Youth 2025-06-15

 

I woke up this morning feeling much better. A little gurgly in the stomach but otherwise my psyche has fully returned. I feel alive. Ready to take on the world. Oddly, more so than prior to being sick. It provided a keen insight that I failed to realize and that is oddly lacking in most advice: if you can't feel the joy, deprive yourself of those things which you should be joyful of and you will find yourself enjoying them once again when returned. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. Fasting makes food all that much better. And being cooped up sick in a room all day with every muscle and joint aching and a brain full of fog makes you enjoy the clarity, mobility, and freedom to roam the next day. Go figure. 

The only remaining question then, is what to deprive, when, for how long, etc. Okay, that's multiple questions. Maybe it can be regular like fasting on Saturdays or maybe it can be skipping all meals but lunch. Maybe it's getting away to an isolated cottage in the woods for a week once a quarter. And, of course, maybe it's entirely unique per person. I will need to be attuned to what I am essentially taking for granted and no longer feeling the joy and take that as a sign to deprive. And I'll have to play around with lengths of time to determine what truly works. This is quite the homework and entirely anecdotal, but I suppose anecdotes are fine when it's personal. And even a placebo effect is still an effect--especially with the theory of creating our own realities.

My stomach still wasn't quite with it so I ended up sleeping a lot still. I kept having weird sinking feelings while I slept. I tried to give in to them after a while to see if I could go "deeper" and it felt like I could to some degree but it never led anywhere in particular. I noticed that the sinking feeling aligned with how it would feel if I were laying on the ceiling. Weird, I know. Haha. 

As I lay in bed though, my mind often ruminated on what it has consumed the most of recently: the show Extraordinary. And while I haven' discounted it as "bad" per se, I feel like there are better things for my mind to be ruminating if I want to be in the virtuous current. But what is that? What does one think about while riding the currents of virtue? I use ChatGPT a lot to come up with ideas and it essentially recommended mindfulness as a practice as we go through life and that made a lot of sense. Mindfulness, of course, being the practice of being acutely aware of everything: the breeze, the flavor of food, the sun, the smells, etc. I'm not sure what that makes my brain ponder while I'm lying sick in bed, but mindfulness does make sense as a means of taking joy in the small things.

So I finally got up to get some food and as I got in the car, my phone automatically continued Spotify which was last playing some weird playlist of... I dunno... music you'd hear at Panera? I let it continue and it was, of course, relaxing and probably closer to joy as a feeling than the heavy metal I typically listen to. When I sat down to eat, the music ruminated in my mind even though I wasn't familiar with it. I continued with a feeling of peace and tranquility. I tried being mindful of every bite of food I ate while listening to the soundtrack in my mind. 

Now, normally, I eat quickly as a task. It's something to complete and if it was good tasting that's a bonus. I considered for a moment that I'm being mindful and eating for the experience, not the task. It's not like it's hard to get food, so if it's a task, eat something quick and bland, but if it's an experience, then I should actually experience it. I ate half of it before my experience told me it was enough. I'm not generally a quitter, but I couldn't experience more joy out of it while being mindful. I was acutely aware of my body saying it was done. But... I'm not a quitter! And... I don't have anything to take it back with me! I wrestled with asking for a box or finishing what I started and ultimately did the right thing and got the box. Mindfulness helped me be aware of what I was doing and why. I can't say I fully comprehend why I'm so stuck on cleaning my plate ::glares at my mother in my head:: but it's not an ideal goal over my health.

If the theory of streams and currents of reality are true, I wonder if we can imprint thoughts upon those streams and anyone else tightly locked into that stream and sensitive enough to it, we could communicate telepathically. It's probably just as out of reach a theory as the number of licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop though... 

I finished watching Extraordinary. Spoiler alert. The last episode of season two has Jen saying goodbye to her dead dad forever (who was being channeled via Carry's power). This oddly hit me deeply. I guess because I never had a bond like that with either of my two dads. Like seriously, I get two fathers and neither of them created a strong bond? What bullshit. And I carry that with me apparently. I have no loss to lament--only something I should have had but never did. My biological father has already passed away due to cancer. We talked maybe 4 times and 2 of which were only digitally. My other father still lives and we had a great chat today--father's day--but we rarely ever talk. We're on such different wavelengths. We have some things in common and I try to share those things--like having a tractor, acres of property, and... I dunno, that's about it. We were always pretty different. I like to pet animals and he likes to hunt them. That pretty much sums up the difference. To each their own in this screwed up world, but it does suck to have no bonds with family. 

Working through this little-t trauma seems important for riding the waves of the virtuous current. I hold no ill-will, just a deep and hidden sadness. And one that probably leaves scars of self-deprecation to overcome. English is so dumb. It's an e for deprecation but an i for deprivation? Anyway, it's weird that it took the motivation of a made-up theory of currents and streams to lead me toward healing. Whatever floats my boat I guess...?

The Fountain of Youth 2025-06-14

Feeling quite sick today. Could be too much VR TV, the stress of travel, or perhaps something in line with my seeking of the Fountain. Could it be a purge? Could it be retribution from the not-so-virtuous streams not wanting me to discover the secrets? Or maybe I'm getting too deep in the virtuous stream without enough virtuous character and it makes me sick? Who knows, but worth noting. If and when I take other people through the process, we'll see if sickness is common. 

I think there's a link between the streams and music or vibrations. Enya seems to hold a connection in some way so I tried listening to her while I took a nap. I'm not sure I felt anything in particular but it was calming for a bit until it was perhaps annoying. When I got up, I felt perhaps calmer and quieter, but that is also when I started feeling more sick.

I tried listening to other music as well to tie into streams of joy or love. There might be something there. A few songs tugged at me in weird ways even though I didn't know the songs. ChatGPT recommended them. One in particular seemed to remind me of something blocked in my memory or something. Made me feel a strange longing. This reminded me of how Jason Upton provided an interesting sense back when I was a Christian. IHOP in general kind of did that. Again, something about music... So I threw on some Jason and it kind of hurt. I remember the feelings of love and joy and hope that I no longer have and ultimately how let down I was by it all. I almost feel like Jason is an enemy at this point but I forced myself to face it. 

Due to sickness, I didn't do a whole lot. Watched TV mostly. Been watching Extraordinary. It's a fairly TV-MA type of show and it makes me wonder what the virtuous stream would think of it. The Christian zealot in me immediately says "bad!" but the atheist in me says it's just comedy and doesn't really have any negative impacts. It makes me laugh. You know a tree by its fruit so will my fruit be affected? I kinda doubt it. Still, I don't want to act like I know what the stream wants. But I'm not ready to dive in full zealot when I'm more or less toying around with this idea. I can't say I believe it, but it's a possibility and one I find tantalizing. It's interesting and science essentially says I can only be better off for trying it. So here's to continued trying. I just hope I'm not putting a target on my back for any evil streams... :-p.

The Fountain of Youth 2025-06-13

In the background of existence lies living currents of intent or emotion--streams that we can ride, align with, listen to, and utilize for creation in the universe. There are nearly infinite streams and there are probably micro streams within larger currents. For example a general stream of goodness/righteousness/holiness is often attributed to "God" with smaller streams of, say, the "fruits of the spirit" and the like. It's a virtuous current with all the things that comprise a virtuous person. When fully engaged with this stream and with enough will and intent within and aligned with the current, it is capable of creation. 

Similarly, there is a more general "evil" stream that is comprised of malice, rage, jealousy, and the like. It's important to recognize these streams and currents as emotional intent-driven entities of a sort and not that of actions. Lying for example is not immediately thrown into an evil current. It's an action--the intent behind it is the key. Perhaps the vast majority of the time it is a bad emotion, but it's that emotion that is... not "wrong"... but clearly in one camp versus another. Sadness may not belong in "evil" but perhaps there are other larger streams like melancholy or something. Any one small stream could, perhaps become a larger stream I suppose if it is highly focused on at the expense of others, but it's generally unlikely that a mass of people will exhibit one "good" trait at the expense of the others. 

At any rate, good streams have a will or intent to create good things. Bad streams have a will or intent to create bad things. There is power in the streams to do good or to do bad. To create life and healing or death and sickness. I believe these are the forces underlying reality and literally create reality as per their presence and the multitudes of those aligned with them. 

So! If I want healing, a good thing, I must align myself with the good current. The healing current. The current aligned with the creation of life. The fruits of the spirit at a minimum: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. If I were to rate myself on a scale from 1 to 10 on each one, I'd give myself around a 2, 2, 5, 8, 7, 10, 7, 6, 1 respectively. Lots of low numbers ergo my pain and suffering. If I can find ways to ride the mini-streams intentionally and generally attempt to live in the lager stream, I believe my health will improve.

I shall journal as I learn, engage, grow, and hopefully heal. I am currently listening to a book called "The Myth of Normal. It talks in great detail regarding how our mindsets and general dispositions based often on little traumas in our lives have a great correlation with our health. This book supports my theory in such a way. What is interesting, however, is to note once again that actions are not equivalent to flowing down any one stream. One can do a good act while flowing down the stream of maliciousness or fear. If it is not done out of love, it is nothing. Oddly, this is exactly the message taught to us from within the Bible. I think it is quite feasible that Jesus taught this message but, as he presumably prophesied, the wheat and weeds grew together. Religious, pharisaical foolishness grew together with the message of aligning ourselves with the currents which lead to eternal life. All this talk of currents, streams, eternal life, and health seems to relate heavily to what one may consider to be the famed Fountain of Youth.

Jesus taught the way to the fountain, but unfortunately his words had bad seed planted among it and his message was corrupted back into malicious evil. Since the religious ways took hold, only a spark of the original current of virtue remains silently awaiting its time to shine. That time, perhaps, is now. I shall find it, I shall use it, and I shall enlighten the world. Or, you know, if it's all made up I don't suppose it can hurt to simply live a virtuous life either way. 

So now, I am confronted with the biggest question ever: How? What can I do to raise my scores so to say? Love, Joy, and Self-Control specifically. I feel like Self-Control comes only from having love for oneself and a joy in living. I have neither at the moment. And so, I think I shall minimally attempt to be healthy, but instead focus on love and joy. How to ride those streams which have evaded me for so long?

I think this somewhat goes back to the book. I've been traumatized. Not significantly, but it only takes a match to start a fire even if others got gasoline. There is no point in comparing trauma. Trauma is trauma. And I need to work through it in some way and remove the barriers that prevent me from experiencing these streams. A good start is perhaps to write what trauma I am aware of.

As I begin to describe my trauma's I think it is important to remind myself and anyone strange enough to read my ramblings that this is not intended to be pronouncing blame on anyone. Everyone is a victim of their circumstances and carrying the same burdens of trauma as everyone else. How can I expect anyone else to have significantly overcome their trauma if this wisdom had been lost oh so long ago? Working through what has shaped us and created our barriers is immensely challenging and I don't begrudge anyone who shaped me in that way. It's hard. I get it. Let's all learn to heal instead.

1. I was abused both physically and mentally as a child. Mistakes were not okay and meant I was a bad person often worthy of physical and verbal abuse. This has set my mind to fear failure. It has made me perhaps more diligent in determining what is best, but it has resulted in a perpetual fear of messing up.
2. Similar to mistakes, I was often verbally chastised for not knowing things or not seeing what someone else sees. This has made me hesitant to share or speak up for fear of being outed. This affects my career as it is too scary to ask questions. I have been learning to ask anyway, but it is still a challenge.
3. Neglect. I was mostly left to my own devices. To not be seen or heard. There was absolutely a mix of good things in my childhood, I will not discount them, but my day to day was mostly solitary. And when I should have been protected, I was not. And this has left a lasting scar that retraumatized me in adulthood. I should have been protected by many people in the situation which arose with my neighbors, but I was not. I should have been protected or cared for by those in my career to help me grow, but I was not. In a multitude of ways, I have lacked the necessary protections all the while I see protections going out to every manner of minority and women while the white man is often decried as the aggressor. It's not wrong, and they deserve protection as well, but as one with the scars of being neglected and unprotected, this hurts deeply to be generically lumped with the aggressors and my outcries dismissed as nonsense.
4. False Accusations. I have been similarly traumatized by a multitude of people accusing me of all manner of evil for simply not agreeing with them. This happened in religious circles to start with and even worse within radical left-wing circles. A few radical right-wingers would also make accusations, but nothing stung like the accusations of the left who so blatantly called me all manner of terrible things failing to honestly hear me out and leading me to the brink of suicide. Even then, the mentioning of this breakdown created accusations of manipulation rather than concern or apology. Always the aggressor, never the victim.
5. Worthlessness. Being ignored, neglected, abused, and falsely accused has led me to be seen as worthless. I have failed as a person and I was let down by what I thought was God that I had tried so hard to follow. The only sense of value I can muster is in the tangible production of money and goods for my family. If I can provide, I am at least good for that, but I feel I am not worth anything to anyone beyond that. No one wishes to hear my ramblings and ideas, no one wants to read my book, and everyone prefers a shallow life of indulgences. I am alone and of no value to anyone.

There are likely more, but these are the main things I can think of for now. These things have left me empty inside with shields to guard me from feelings and living as an automaton. A robot doing the bidding of the world to provide for the world without providing for myself. I wish to cry but no one will hear it. I wish to scream but then I will be ridiculed, shamed, or incarcerated. My pain means nothing to the world and that is because I, myself, am nothing to the world. As much as I wish to say screw the world, I cannot find that value within myself without the external approval of that world. So what is a man to do? How can I cure the scars left upon me?

It may be possible to make myself cry and so feel the emotion within me. To remind me it's there, to remind me that I am indeed human and to feel empathy for myself. When I watch something sad, I often feel a small release in such a way although I am not sure I can relate it back to me for self-empathy. Still, it may be a start. But if the goal is to ride the current of virtue, I need that empathy rather than that sadness and rather than the simple act of crying. I suppose watching sad movies is generally an empathetic tear so perhaps that's the key. Maybe I should watch something that resonates with my own plights so the empathy I feel can closer relate to empathizing with myself. That sounds promising. Let's give that a shot!

The Hidden Mechanics of Reality: Why Belief Shapes the World

Prophets have been trying to explain the fabric of reality for ages but lacked the words and cohesive understanding to describe it for just as long. Confounding the problem is the human element which gets in the way of understanding and interpreting on top of bad actors attempting to control the populace with their lies. And so, there are false prophets who are making things up entirely, there are well-meaning prophets who are simply not well-enough attuned, and then there are misguided prophets who listen to the wrong voices. I use the term "wrong" loosely. There is no right or wrong per se, but that which we decide for ourselves to follow. Our "God" so to say. There are infinite gods in a way. Gods are the principles and powers by which we live and which govern the fabric of reality. They're only as real and powerful as the people abiding by them and their conviction in that version of reality. The conviction is what makes it so.

Most people live their lives in autonomy and acceptance of the reality presented to them. They behave as repeaters and reinforcers of the shared reality. But we can actually influence the reality around us with little nudges. This why a double-blind study is necessary for science. Our expectation affects the outcome. It has actual power. And this power exists daily in every interaction. If our mind is attuned to fear of what people think of us, then we will persistently put out a force of questioning us. When people talk to us, we will inadvertently put doubt about us in their minds and they will likely succumb eventually to the ever-present force you exert. They will begin to dislike you as much as you fear they do.

Anyone who has done a significant amount of thinking and introspection will tell you, it is challenging to keep your mind clear and strengthened in a single point of view. Fear grabs hold. What ifs take over. The multitude of possibilities steal away at our focus. The fickleness of the mind prevents us from outputting the pure signals we wish to send that could shape the world. This is why mantras and chanting, and self-help repetition of "you are enough" and the like actually work. It's a manner of training the mind to keep a pure signal and thus influencing the world around you. Starting small, we can influence our own personal lives. We can see ourselves getting stronger, healthier, wiser, and with the influence of conviction we can see it occur before us. But it has to be grounded in a reality with which we currently believe.

As a man of science, I don't believe in miracles. So I can't imagine praying over someone and having them miraculously healed. The world just doesn't work that way. And most people know this as well. A miracle would be surprising which goes to show it's not taken as reality in this moment. Truly being convinced of the capability is nearly impossible without enough evidence leading up to it. In essence, we must start small within the frame of reality that exists and begin to see the influence we have. With this knowledge, you already have a choice. Which of the underlying powers applying forces at our reality do you wish to channel? You can put hate out into the world and sow discord. You can but vengeance out and initiate riots. You can put greed and personal well-being out and have the world serve you. You could eventually own the world with enough discipline and conviction.

Or, you can go back to autopilot and live in the existence made out for you. The choice is entirely yours and no one needs to believe what I am saying. But shaping the world around you is quite the power. A power that other powers may not wish to be revealed and understood. If people were entirely convinced of the meta-reality governing the rules of our experienced reality, they could shape it however they wanted. They could fly, move mountains, etc. It's based on a shared reality, but the moment miracles start popping up and convincing people, then reality becomes a blur. Everyone expects anything can happen and thus anything can. Reality becomes an infinite mess of possibilities. And I don't know about you, but in such a reality, I might very well inadvertently create my own hell for myself imaging all manner of terrible things. A mind must be focused with such power. And so, it's often best not to share the underlying rules of reality. Instead, it's best to have the masses focus on a single person's vision without knowing that they, too, can control reality.

Jesus attempted to change this. No more prophets, no more leaders, no more branches of churches. Talk to "God" directly. Filter out the noisiness of your mind and find the force of good, of love, kindness, gentleness, etc. Focus only on that voice and channel its energy. Make it grow. Influence the world around you by your thoughts toward this singular "God". Even Jesus had some challenges with this understanding. He recognized that he could use the power to his own advantage. He could own the world. But he said no. He'd rather get the word out. He believed that everyone having the power to reach out to the same good force, that the good force could take over the reality in which we currently live. He made some progress, some pockets of understanding, but eventually it all succumbed to the crueler version of reality. They couldn't understand enough of how this works or what the point was. With new technology, however, we can now listen more intently, document it more accurately, and really understand what was intended way back then.

So what do we do with this knowledge? We train for whatever it is we want. I hope that by revealing these things, those who care to make a positive change will give it a shot. It certainly won't hurt to put good vibes out there and see it change the world around you. And as it does, your faith will increase and you can better attune your mind and assert even more power for good. We don't need to operate under the rules of this reality when we can apply direct forces of thoughts and behaviors. So be careful what kind of forces you're applying on the world around you. Are they forces of spite, hatred, shame, annoyance, etc? Well, then you're going to reinforce all those things instead of actually fighting them. Literally put good, wholesome, and loving thoughts into the minds of all those around you directly and the world around you will change toward it. But your fears and doubts will corrupt it so you must train the mind to ignore those voices and focus only on the objectives.

The fabric of the meta-reality is that of infinite possibilities. Have you ever stared at a stone tile and relaxed your mind to find images pop up using the dark and light spots? You can almost see whatever you are thinking about. It naturally starts to form out of the possible interpretations of the spots. So it is with reality but in far more than 2 dimensional images. All the senses have infinite options and we simply "see" the pattern we're thinking of and it puts it into existence. But when there are very strong patterns, we struggle to see past them and envision something new. So the existing reality forces us to adhere to it governed by its laws and what we firmly believe is possible. But reality can change with more understanding and experiences that mold it. And it's easiest to start with ourselves. We can literally stand in front of a mirror and see our avatar. We can envision a new persona for it and even see a new interpretation of what is there. We can't reinterpret as a butterfly perhaps, but we can see a kinder face, a thinner or more muscular body, we can see a person who is confident and trustworthy, one who does what needs done without fear or remorse. And as we envision it, we literally alter our avatars to become it. This is the starting point to build the conviction of the meta-reality that moves mountains.